1:45 a.m.

Expressing my emotions/thought process sometimes feel like I’m trying to find my way out of a maze during a severe thunderstorm with winds up to 120km/hr. It’s a struggle and to be honest, I don’t want to self diagnose but it may be a form of aphasia; expressive aphasia to be specific. For those who don’t know, aphasia affects a person’s ability to communicate properly; a communication disorder. Expressive aphasia is knowing what you want to say but unable to communicate it the way you intended to other people. For me, verbal speech is where it gets difficult. BUT I think it might just be the overthinking and anxiety taking over my life. Regardless, did you learn something new? 🙂

Anyway, going back to my thoughts.

Sometimes, I can’t find the right words to describe exactly how I’m feeling. In the moment, everything is just jumbled thoughts in my head trying to escape through my mouth but somehow, what needs to be said never comes out the way intended or, at all. I am always concerned about other people and wondering if what I say is rubbing people the wrong way.

We all have our own opinions and we all have things we want to say and most of the time, we say them without thinking of how it could possibly affect the other person. For me though, I feel like I’m cautious all the time about people around me.

I’ve encountered moments of hesitation and doubt. There are times when my heart races, and my mind feels scattered, leaving me tongue-tied and unable to convey the depth of my emotions.

BUT

I’m learning to embrace the complexity of self-expression, recognizing that vulnerability is not a weakness but a source of strength. Each stumble and hesitation becomes an opportunity for growth, a chance to deepen my understanding of myself and others.

I want to develop a better way of expressing myself that considers different perspectives and feelings (which I am hoping this blog will do), one that celebrates realness while accepting the challenges I am faced with. By embracing the richness of human experience, I hope to create connections that transcend words,.